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Friday, April 23, 2010

"Dump the Jerk"

"Dump the Jerk"..... I have said these very same words so many times to so many women.  And I'm not talking about their husbands, boyfriends or significant others.  I'm talking about their doctors.

This article rings so true for so many women in so many situations in so many places, but rings clearest for pregnant women and their choice (or lack thereof) care givers for their births. Sarah writes about one woman's experience with her Obstetrician:

"I recently heard through the grapevine about a woman whose doctor had scheduled a c-section because of suspected big baby.  (She is of course weeks from her due date.)  But, when the doctors vacation plans changed he no longer needed to schedule the c-section, and told her as much..."

I have heard several versions of this type of story myself, and each time my response was the same: 
"Get the Hell out of there!!"

Women feel especially trapped once they get to 30 odd weeks and the true colours of their doctor start to show.  They feel like it's impossible to change now.  Where will they go?  Who will take them on?  What if they don't find someone else?  They have a right to be concerned, even frightened, about changing everything at the last minute, but nothing is as scary as a doctor who's punching a time clock and pushing every woman through the same mold.

I have encourage several women to change their care provided in the last few weeks of their pregnancies, and worked with them to help them find another Doctor- or even better, a midwife!!  It is possible.  Many of the midwives I know will take on a client in this kind of situation no matter how close to their due date, regardless of how busy or "booked" they are.

But you'll never know if you don't ask! ;>P

Read this article- and pass it on to every woman you know that's stuck in this situation.  Let them know that change is GOOD!!!

Dump The Jerk: Changing Care Providers Before it's too Late!!

The Jerk 

So- your friends have introduced you to this "great"guy.  He makes great money, has a nice car, big new house, good looking, all that seems important.  You get a little closer a little faster than you would have liked and now you feel stuck in the relationship.  As you get to know him better there are some things that really bother you about him.

You don't feel like he respects you at all.  Whenever you mention something that is important to you he just blows it off.  You have been wanting to go see a ballet for months and he just won't go- even though you go with him to countless monster truck shows.  All of your opinions he would just rather not hear, and if you voice them anyways he makes a rude comment about how you don't really know anything.   Sometimes he even scares you a little bit. 

But- he is a great guy on paper, and all your friends love him.  You have been going together for a few months now and it just feels like it would be too hard at this point to get out of the relationship.  You hate being rude and hurting somebody's feelings anyway.

Of course you have a crazy, opinionated friend.  She thinks a man should be respectful of you and what is important to you.  Her husband treats her well, but doesn't have all that fancy stuff.  She is actually happy in her relationship, unlike your friends.  She keeps telling you to dump the jerk before it is too late, and you are stuck with him forever.


When we think about the above situation, it seems obvious right?  Get out- find somebody good that you actually like and who likes you and respects you.

How many times do we hear this same stupid excuse though about somebody's doctor?  "Oh, I am already 35 weeks, it is just too late to change."  Or maybe this one, "Well, my sister went to this doctor too and I didn't know who else to go with.  He is all right, and he tells me not to worry about anything."

It is not too late to change doctors until the cord has been cut.  Am I being clear enough?  We are talking about the birth of your baby.  This is one of life's BIG events.  It will change you.  I am going to say that again, because it is so important.  Birth will change you.  How do you want your birth to change you?  Do you want it to be full of regrets?  Do you want to feel like a passive participant on a crazy ride where somebody else is behind the steering wheel?  Or do you want your birth to be beautiful and empowering, like you hear it can be?
HERE to read the entire article