If you've been following along here for the past week or so, or have been actively reading the latest news in the world of breastfeeding advocacy, then you're probably well aware of the battle of words that raged last week during the Babble Debacle. If you missed it, you can catch up by reading the 3 articles that I posted HERE, HERE and HERE. I"m not going to get into all the details of it all, but I do want to address the ever present topic of "Guilt" and "Shame" that seems to haunt just about every parenting debate.
Babies don't come with an owners manual. They don't come with instructions. They don't come with even a rudimentary FAQ to refer to when you suddenly have a desperate question to ask. It's up to each and every parent to figure it out all on their own. Now, having said that, we do have the option of doing research to help us along the way to making the best choices we can. Some times we learn things in advance of necessity, sometimes we learn things in hindsight. And sometimes, in hindsight, we learn that we screwed up. And we feel guilty. Sometimes even shame. That's life, and it sucks, but the reality is that we have to learn to live with our mistakes and get on with it.
But here's the kicker: In order to "get on with it" and learn to live with our mistakes, you need to own it. The mistake, that is. Because if you can't OWN your mistake, if you can't admit that you made a mistake, then you will never learn from your mistake.
Here's the thing about Guilt. Guilt is not something that happens to you from outside sources. Guilt is internal. Guilt is an emotion that we feel in response to something that we have said or done, or even thought about. No one can MAKE you feel guilty. No one can FORCE you to feel guilty. If you are completely confident in your choices and actions, if you feel in your heart that you have done exactly the right thing..... you will not feel guilty..... no matter what any one says to you!!! Only you, or at least, only that little voice in the back of your head, can make YOU feel guilty. A good friend of mine once said this about guilt:
~On guilt~
No one can make any one else FEEL guilty. Guilt comes from within. You either feel it, or you don't. And actually, guilt is a very good thing! It causes us to re-evaluate things, lets us know when we are no longer in line with our own principles, our core values. It tells us that something is off, motivates us to......change whatever it is we're doing. In other words, guilt makes us uncomfortable for good reason!Rather than blaming OTHERS for making us "feel guilty", we really need to look within ourselves for the answers, and stop deflecting our issues away from ourselves, stop projecting our issues onto others. We need to be 100% accountable for our feelings, we need to OWN them. Because they are no one else's *but* our own." Emma Kwasnica
"We need to be 100% accountable for our feelings (such as guilt and shame), we need to OWN them"
NO ONE IS PERFECT. Not one of us is the perfect parent. Not one of us has raised our children perfectly without making a single mistake. Making a mistake is really hard, and sometimes emotionally devastating, but it gives us the opportunity to do better. It gives us the opportunity to learn and to try to make better decisions the next time. We all make mistakes- what sets us apart as parents is what we do with that knowledge and how we deal with our mistakes. Guilt guides us to DO BETTER.
The same with Shame. No one can make you feel ashamed. No one can force you to feel Shame. Shame is a part of your internal watchdog and shares the same house with Guilt.
I'm not a perfect parent- not even close- and I have made some horrible mistakes in my life.
- when my eldest son was 3 days old, I allowed him to be circumcised. It was years later before I truly realized the magnitude of the mistake I made that day. When the realization came, I was emotionally devastated and I still live with the guilt in my heart.
-when my son was 12 weeks old I allowed him to "Cry it out" all night long.... because that's what my mom told me to do. I sat on the floor in the hallway, outside his room, and cried and cried and cried along with him.
- when my eldest son was 6 weeks old, I started giving him bottles, because that's what I was told to do. Suddenly at 4.5 month old, he refused to nurse. After struggling for over a day, I finally went to my doctor, who told me that my son had "weaned" himself and that he only wanted bottles now. I was crushed. I cried on and off for days. It was even worse though when I discovered a book in our Library called "The womanly art of breastfeeding" and found out that my baby hadn't weaned, he had classic nipple confusion, and that if I'd gotten help/support, I could of got him back on the breast again.
Just typing this out brings tears to my eyes, even though my eldest son is now 20 years old.
Guilt.
Shame.
Yes, I feel them both. BUT.....I have accepted my guilt and my shame. I do not blame others for my shame and guilt. When a good friend sat down and explained to me exactly what "Male Circumcision" was, and what it does, and how it's done, at first I wouldn't believe her. I couldn't believe her, so I researched, and realized that she was right. And I felt intense guilt. I was horrified and I felt completely ashamed. BUT.....
When "Intactivist" post articles about the truth of Circumcision I don't say to them "Stop!! You're making me feel guilty!!"
When "Lactivists" post articles about the risks of formula feeding and the truth that infant formula is a vastly inferior substitute to breastmilk, I don't yell "NO! Don't tell me this! You're making me feel shamed because I formula fed my son!!!!"
When AP parents post studies that show that CIO methods cause permanent emotional damage to babies, I don't throw my hands over my eyes and say "Don't show me that!!! You're making me feel guilty and ashamed because I let my son CIO as a small infant!!!"
Just because they are telling the facts- cold and hard- doesn't mean that they are "making" me feel guilty.
Yes, I feel guilty, and I feel ashamed of some of my decisions that I've made as a parent, but I accept that guilt and that shame and have turned it around. I have learned from it. I have dedicated myself to helping others to NOT make the same mistakes that I did. I OWN that guilt. I will never make those mistakes again, because I have fully accepted my guilt and shame.
Here's another thing about Guilt and Shame. Rarely are we the only ones responsible for our mistakes. I made mistakes but I also acknowledge that I can't shoulder ALL of the blame. I was let down by a system that didn't support parents to make informed choices. That's another emotion that goads me forward: ANGER.
So if you feel the emotions "Guilt" & "Shame" over parenting decisions you've made in the past, put it to work for you. Move forward and onward. Make the changes necessary to get rid of the guilt. Own it.
....Don't blame others for it. It's not their fault that you have emotional baggage to deal with. Blaming them doesn't make the truth go away.
........and it doesn't make you feel any better.
So the Drama is never ending it would seem. More Guilt. More Shame. More horrible "lactivists" emotionally emasculating mom's because of their choices for infant feeding. This seriously is getting ridiculous.
Last night the Toronto Globe & Mail Newspaper publish a blog article by Tralee Pearce entitled "Why do "Lactivists" want to ban baby formula advertising?". It would seem to be a valid question. Why DO breastfeeding advocates want infant formula advertising banned? And if the article was really serious about discussing this topic, I would whole heartedly join in the conversation and gladly discuss the WHO Code and the ramifications of formula advertising on breastfeeding rates and longevity....
But that's not what the article is about at all. No, this article is yet another attempt to play the "oh woe is me" card using the media to incite yet another mothering riot, pitting the breastfeeders against the formula feeders, and vice-versa.
The article starts off by quoting Babble blogger Catherine Connors about the recent Babble debacle:
“The message at the core of the ‘ban all formula advertising’ platform is simple: formula is bad. You should not use it. You should not even think about using it. You should not look at words or images that in any way suggest that you are not a terrible mother if you choose it. Giving your baby formula is akin to sticking a cigarette in her mouth. If you use formula, you are a bad, bad mother.Influential Canadian blogger Catherine Connors characterized the anti-advertising stance this way: “This is nonsense. This is pernicious nonsense that is harmful to mothers, inasmuch as it undermines mothers’ powers of self-determination and calls into question their ability to make the best choices for themselves. It is harmful, because it shames mothers.”
This is such a load of bull crap!! At no point in time during the conversations between Emma and Babble owner Alisa was this discussed. At no point did any "lactivist" make any references comparing formula to cigarettes. At no point did breastfeeding advocates call mothers who formula feed bad mothers. It never happened. Apparently Catherine has a very active imagination. Or could it be that she has an agenda that she is pushing? hmmmmm..... Catherine works for Babble.com. Babble takes money from infant formula manufacturers. Infant formula manufacturers place ads all over Babble's site and together they promote the use of Similac's "breastfeeding experts", who really are just infant formula salespeople in disguise, as I pointed out yesterday. So Babble hires writers, like Catherine, to write articles for their site, and pays them from the money they receive from infant formula manufacturers, like Similac, who use their website as a platform to sell moms their formula. Now their writers, like say.... Catherine for example, go to the main stream media, with a story of how "Lactivists" are torturing moms, making them feel guilty about using infant formula.... oh the SHAME of it all!....
Does anyone else see the hidden link here?
And just two days ago, on her own blog, Catherine talked about infant formula, and formula advertising/marketing:
I disagree with the hard line of many breastfeeding activists that any and all formula advertising is by definition – because it is the advertising of formula, full stop – bad. I disagree with the position that any and all advertising of formula is uniquely deceptive and sinister; I disagree with the claim that the very existence of formula advertising meaningfully undermines breastfeeding. Yes, I know that the World Health Organization recommends against the advertising of formula. But the WHO recommendations were developed primarily to address real problems with the marketing of formula to vulnerable communities – problems that are being widely addressed by most formula companies. Mothers in the North America are not, by and large, a vulnerable community. And the choice to formula feed, freely made, is not an terrible one, nor is any mom who cannot for any reason breastfeed and is therefore compelled to formula feed harming her child.
(Edited original article to add these two points)
Can Catherine tell me the difference between "vulnerable communities" and non-vulnerable communities? What is she trying to say? That women/mothers in developing nations, like China and the Philippines, are not as smart as mothers in developed nations, like Canada and the US? That they are stupid and therefore require the World Health Organization to create a Code of conduct for formula manufacturers just to protect them? But not to protect women and mothers in Canada and the States, because they're smarter than their poorer counterparts in Asia?
You know what the difference is between the marketing strategy of infant formula companies in the Philippines vs America? In the Philippines, the formula company pay medical professionals to go out into the community and tell new moms that infant formula is just as good as breastmilk. Then they give these new mothers just enough free formula to make sure that their breastmilk supply dries up, thus forcing them to BUY the company's formula to feed their baby. In North America the formula company pays someone pretend to be breastfeeding professionals, and they sit in front of computers talking to mothers in their virtual community. And they tell them that "Good quality infant formula is just as good as breastmilk" and they send the mother enough free formula to insure that they have the family hooked on the bottle, so that then the family is forced to buy their infant formula from the company.
And women from both the Philippines and North America fall for this marketing tactic. Every. Single. Day.
...yes, formula companies are "addressing" the problems of infant formula marketing in NON-vulnerable communities by creating pretend "breastfeeding help lines" staffed by pretend "breastfeeding support" people. And that is supposedly ok. And the breastfeeding advocates are apparently suppose to sit back and not comment on the conflict of interest. And "Lactivists" are not allowed to point out that the horrific advice given by these fake breastfeeding support people (who are really formula salespeople in disguise) is.... HORRIFIC and WRONG on all levels, because if they do, then they are causing "SHAME" and "GUILT". And Gods forbid that a breastfeeding mom happens to mention the risks of using infant formula to another, non-breastfeeding mom!!!! THE ABSOLUTE HORROR!
Why is it that the formula companies can promote their product all over the place, yet breastfeeding advocates can't promote their product? Why is it that formula pushers continuously point out that so many women fail at breastfeeding and they Need to feed their babies formula? Why don't they recommend that these women feed their babies species specific donated breastmilk?
Yes, Why DON'T they recommend that women who cannot breastfeed use donor milk? WHY?!
....Because formula companies don't make any money off breastmilk- whether it comes from a donor or directly from the mother.
It all comes back to the almighty dollar. Would Babble make such a big issue about this if they weren't getting paid from a formula company? Would writers, like Catherine Connor, make such a big stink about it all if they weren't getting paid by formula companies dirty money? Would the major media outlets continuously flog this battle between breastfeeders and formula feeders if it didn't mean money in their pockets?
In their reality, money makes the world go round, not the truth. The truth is easily verifiable. It takes a google search less than 2 seconds to pull up articles about the risks of formula feeding, about the multitude of studies done that have proven over and over again that formula is NOT a healthy substitute for human breastmilk, and that formula advertising directly negatively impacts breastfeeding. Babble and Catherine and the media bulldogs can hide their heads in the sand (along with their ill gotten money), and pretend it's not true, but that doesn't change the facts.
I still haven't said all that I want to say on this topic, but my baby needs to nurse.
... OK I know that many of you are going to shake your heads and say "Here she goes again..." but I have to pull out my soap box and rant on this topic some more.
Two recent articles in the Globe & Mail talk about breastfeeding in Canada (although this articles could seriously be about about the US or England just as easily). One is the usual media propaganda about how mothers are made to feel guilty for not breastfeeding their babies, and the other one is about Canada's abysmal breastfeeding statistics.
Lets talk about the ridiculousness of the first article: What’s wrong with feeding your baby formula?
Laura Leyshon for The Globe and Mail
Women who feed their babies formula face guilt – not to mention the unkindness of strangers.
*Before I even start reading the article my hackles are immediately up. Why is there this instance that there are finger pointers hiding around every corner and why are Breastfeeding advocates the usual suspects?!
From the day he was born, Alison Evans breastfed her son Christopher with the understanding that breast milk is the most nourishing, natural and healthy thing a mother can feed her baby. So when, at four weeks old, he suddenly began rejecting her milk and stopped gaining weight, Ms. Evans was distraught and uncertain about turning to infant formula.
“I’d had this ... idea [breastfeeding]’s what I’m supposed to do,”
...Followed by the comment that her son's health immediately improved on a formula diet.
This is the story that we hear constantly. Parents-to-be take a class in childbirth, read books about all the important things you're suppose to know about babies, they give birth to these wonderfully beautiful beings and are sent on their way home to enjoy their new family life...
Mothers know they're suppose to breastfeed their babies. They know it's the healthiest choice and will give their babies the best start in life- offering them some of their mothers immunities and some vital protection from diseases, lessening their risks of diabetes, certain cancers, obesedy, and maybe even increase their IQ by a few points along the way. As an added bonus, mom's are offered some protection from breast & ovarian cancer, post partum depression and might even loose that baby wieght a bit faster!! And it's FREE!! Over all it's a "win-win" situation, right?
But what happens when that mother gets home? She probably tired, maybe sore from the birth, perhaps dealing with unexpected trauma from the birth of her baby: inductions, forcept/vacuum assisted birth, episiotomy, Caesarean section..(all of which are known to have a negative effect on breastfeeding)..? Is the baby sleepy because of medical interventions used during his birth? "How is he feeding? Does he have a good latch?" are the questions a new mum might hear, but how the hell is a new mom suppose to know?! One book said that breastfeeding is hard and it can hurt, another book said that breastfeeding is natural and only hurts if there is a problem with the baby's latch. One book says to nurse the baby for 10 minutes on each side every 2 hours, one book says to nurse the baby on demand when ever they want to eat. One web site says that this is the best nursing position, one site says that that position will cause blocked ducts and will cause problems because you can't see the baby's latch. One nurse in the hospital told her to use this method to get the baby to latch, but the night time nurse told her that it was wrong and she should use this method instead. This is what we call a recipe for failure- before this baby is even a week old, he's already on the road to bottles of formula because his exhausted stressed out mother is unsure of anything to do with breastfeeding. She can't get any support to make breastfeeding work for her or give her the confidence to persevere and keep nursing regardless of any issues that might arise. The emotionally wrung out mother goes to the doctor with her crying baby and begs for help and advice. The doctor is affraid to cause her guilt about breastfeeding, or has no interest/education in lactation management, so instead of sending her to the right people to get proper support and advice, he pats her on the back and tells her it's ok, some women/babies just can't breastfeed and that formula feeding would be so much easier because then her husband/mother/sister could feed the baby and let her sleep. He gives her a perscription for some sleeping/anti depressants/anti anxiety pills and sends her on her way with a gift pack of formula samples and a book of coupons for free baby bottles and matching diaper bag.
Then the Media make s a big production about how women are MADE to feel guilty about not breastfeeding.
Guilt?! The last thing this mother should feel is guilt!!!!
This woman should be rip roaring mad!! She should be stomping her feet and demanding WHY she didn't have the support and information she needed to do something that women have been doing for a millennia!! She has nothing to feel guilty for- she was failed by every single person and place she went to to look for information and support and advice!
A good friend of mine once told me something very important: "No one can make you feel guilty. Guilt is an emotion that is caused by internal struggles" Don't believe me? How about this:
guilt
Pronunciation: \ˈgilt\
Function: noun
Etymology: Middle English, delinquency, guilt, from Old English gylt delinquency
Date: before 12th century
1: the fact of having committed a breach of conduct especially violating law and involving a penalty; broadly: guilty conduct 2 a: the state of one who has committed an offense especially consciously b:feelings of culpability especially for imagined offenses or from a sense of inadequacy :self-reproach 3: a feeling of culpability for offenses
It's also been my experience that it's the mothers who've had to struggle under severe pressure and unbelievable situations that feel this "breastfeeding guilt" the most. I have a friend who has gone through one of the worst nightmares a parent can possibly live through. Her son was born just weeks before her older child had to have cancer surgery. This mum had to travel 3 hours every day to be with her child at Sick Kids Hospital... with a newborn. Then during the ensuing weeks, she had to leave the baby with her husband to care for her child during chemo.... and the outcome was that her little baby became use to the bottles and refused to nurse any more. So she pumped, and pumped.... but when her supply dried up she turned to formula. This mum feels "guilty". Its makes me want to cry. Here is a woman who has been through so much and done so much for her children, and SHE feels guilty about not breastfeeding longer. This Mum should be MAD. What support did she get to continue to breastfeed? None. Yet she feels the guilt that the media says she must feel. ....and that makes ME mad!!
And it's the inflammatory articles like this one in The Globe & Mail that really make me angry, because they feed the flames of the breastfeeding vs formula feeding debate: "What's wrong with feeding your baby formula?" goes on to say:
"While research clearly shows the benefits of breastfeeding, the intense demands breastfeeding places on a mother are not captured by the medical studies. The messages mothers receive about breast milk versus formula are “phenomenally black and white and unequivocal,” she says.
Breastfeeding lobby groups have become increasingly influential on social policy, and they have put the onus on individuals to “choose health” or else risk becoming a social burden, Dr. Lee says.
“The moral dimension, I think, comes in with babies where people say, ‘Well, actually it isn’t just your choice, Mum. What’s at issue is another person – a particularly vulnerable person – so actually it’s not right to say, ‘Well I just don’t want to do this.’...
The bottle-feeding taboo is especially strong when it comes to women who choose not to breastfeed for non-medical reasons. Recently, an article by Kathryn Blundell, the deputy editor of Britain’s Mother & Baby Magazine, caused a stir because she said breastfeeding was “creepy,” she wanted her “body back,” and her “fun bags” were part of her sexuality. The piece sparked criticism from online commenters who called her “selfish,” “self-centred” and “vain.”
Sparked criticism?! Oh please, if the shoe fits....
When it comes to parenting debates, formula vs breastfeeding is the pinacle fight. This article is yet again tryign to play the guilt card for formula feeding mothers. But you have to ask the question WHY the debate exists to begin with? I think that Dr. Jack Newman's thoughts on Breastfeeding and guilt hit the mark, a bullseye that the media seem to miss entirely:
Breastfeeding and Guilt
Written by Dr Jack Newman , MD FRCPC
One of the most powerful arguments many health professionals, government agencies and formula company manufacturers make for not promoting and supporting breastfeeding is that we should "not make the mother feel guilty for not breastfeeding". Even some strong breastfeeding advocates are disarmed by this "not making mothers feel guilty" ploy.
It is, in fact, nothing more than a ploy. It is an argument that deflects attention from the lack of knowledge and understanding of too many health professionals about breastfeeding. This allows them not to feel guilty for their ignorance of how to help women overcome difficulties with breastfeeding, which could have been overcome and usually could have been prevented in the first place if mothers were not so undermined in their attempts to breastfeed. This argument also seems to allow formula companies and health professionals to pass out formula company literature and free samples of formula to pregnant women and new mothers without pangs of guilt, despite the fact that it has been well demonstrated that this literature and the free samples decrease the rate and duration of breastfeeding.
Let's look at real life. If a pregnant woman went to her physician and admitted she smoked a pack of cigarettes, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty for endangering her developing baby? If she admitted to drinking a couple of beers every so often, is there not a strong chance that she would leave the office feeling guilty? If a mother admitted to sleeping in the same bed with her baby, would most physicians not make her feel guilty for this even though it is, in fact, the best thing for her and the baby? If she went to the office with her one week old baby and told the physician that she was feeding her baby homogenized milk, what would be the reaction of her physician? Most would practically collapse and have a fit. And they would have no problem at all making that mother feel guilty for feeding her baby cow's milk, and then pressuring her to feed the baby formula. (Not pressuring her to breastfeed, it should be noted, because "you wouldn't want to make a woman feel guilty for not breastfeeding".)
Why such indulgence for formula? The reason of course, is that the formula companies have succeeded so brilliantly with their advertising to convince most of the world that formula feeding is just about as good as breastfeeding, and therefore there is no need to make such a big deal about women not breastfeeding. As a vice-president of Nestle here in Toronto was quoted as saying "Obviously, advertising works". It is also a balm for the consciences of many health professionals who, themselves, did not breastfeed, or their wives did not breastfeed. "I will not make women feel guilty for not breastfeeding, because I don't want to feel guilty for my child not being breastfed"....
So how should we approach support for breastfeeding? All pregnant women and their families need to know the risks of artificial feeding. All should be encouraged to breastfeed, and all should get the best support available for starting breastfeeding once the baby is born. Because all the good intentions in the world will not help a mother who has developed terribly sore nipples because of the baby's poor latch at the breast. Or a mother who has been told, almost always inappropriately, that she must stop breastfeeding because of some medication or illness in her or her baby. Or a mother whose supply has not built up properly because she was given wrong information. Make no mistake about it—health professionals' advice is often the single most significant reason for mothers' failing at breastfeeding! Not the only one, and other factors are important, but health professionals often have influence and authority far beyond their knowledge and experience....
Finally, who does feel guilty about breastfeeding? Not the women who make an informed choice to bottle feed. It is the woman who wanted to breastfeed, who tried, but was unable to breastfeed who feels guilty. In order to prevent women feeling guilty about not breastfeeding what is required is not avoiding promotion of breastfeeding, but promotion of breastfeeding coupled with good, knowledgeable and skillful support. This is not happening in most North American or European societies."
And again I say: Guilt is internal. If a mother feels guilty for a decision she's made, then she needs to evaluate her guilt, find the cause of it, scrutinize the situations that lead to that decision and look at it honestly. Then either change the decision if possible, or make the changes necessary to make the best of the situation that she's choosen. But don't blame the Breastfeeding advocates or the medical recommendations that babies should be exclusively breastfed for the first 6 months and for breastfeeding to continue for two years and beyond. Giveing out facts and good advice are NOT a ploy to make mothers feel guilty and miserable.
If you failed at breastfeeding and you want to point a finger at someone, then point the finger at a target that deserves your anger and frustration: The government that refuses to adequately fund breastfeeding support services and education, and the media who creates a circus by pitting mothers against mothers and allowing authors to muddy the waters by writing articles entitled "What's wrong with feeding your baby formula?"
The Globe and Mail printed another article that at least touches on the real problems that face mothers.
Why aren’t more women breastfeeding?
Health experts are increasingly concerned about the lack of increase in breastfeeding rates in Canada, which they say is tied to a lack of support for mothers from the medical community and the influence of formula manufacturers.
Many mothers seek advice on breastfeeding from family doctors, but they often don’t have answers about techniques or other specific breastfeeding issues. “They don’t necessarily know how to counsel the mother on how to breastfeed,” said Catherine-Maude Pound, assistant professor of pediatrics at the University of Ottawa and consulting pediatrician at Children’s Hospital of Eastern Ontario, who participated in a discussion of the challenges to Canada’s breastfeeding rates at a conference held by the Canadian Paediatric Society last month.
In Canada, about 90 per cent of new mothers start breastfeeding when their children are born – an excellent rate. . But by three months, only half of them are still exclusively breastfeeding, while about two-thirds combine breast and bottle feeding, according to a study of more than 6,400 Canadian mothers published in the journal Birth in June, 2009....
For the majority of women who do want to breastfeed, not finding support when they encounter problems - such failing to get the baby to latch on, or pain during nursing - can cause them to turn to formula. The situation needs to be addressed by policy-makers if anything is to change, experts say.
The key issue is that mothers often don’t receive sufficient guidance on proper methods of breastfeeding from the health-care system, said Jean Kouba, president of the Canadian Lactation Consultant Association. Although there are lactation consultants in Canada, there aren’t enough to meet the need, Ms. Kouba said.
That’s why Dr. Pound believes doctors should receive some formal training in breastfeeding techniques.
Hence the need for FUNDING. Funding for the Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute (NBCI) so that they can keep their doors open to help mothers and babies reach their breastfeeding goals, and to educate the medical personell who are in contact with new mothers and babies and NEED to be able to offer REAL support based on scientific studies and facts, not on myths and personal opinions. Until our government steps up and starts providing the funding and the backing to breastfeeding support, our babies will continue to end up on a bottle of formula, and mothers will keep spiraling down in the abyss of guilt that is not their own.
Honestly? I'm surprized that more women don't give up within the first week after their baby is born. I'm not saying that they should, but it certainly proves the point that women are strong and resilient and capable of overcoming ridiculous odds to beat the obsticles thrown at them. How else would we be capable of breastfeeding our babies at all when most of the support women find is hidden though piles of old wives tales and incorrect information.
I have one last thing to add (which will probably get me verbally flogged by the Kathryn Blundell's of the world)..... We don't choose to use a car seat. We do it because it's the safest method of travelling in a car with our infants. Breastfeeding IS Best. Breastfeeding IS the Norm. Everything else is inferior.If you can't breastfeed- TRULY can't. Then Don't feel guilty. You can only do what you can do. Guilt is your internal monitoring system and only you can see inside and know the truth.
How I missed this article I don't know, but when I read this on the weekend, I think I actually cheered. The Feminist Breeder Gina speaks freely and without guile - straight to the heart of the matter. Why DO we pussy foot around the topic of breastfeeding? Why is it that women are immediately on the defensive when the word "Breastfeeding" is uttered? We don't get our hackles up nearly so much on other topics. So Why Breastfeeding? And why is it that the media is the first to jump on the bank wagon of pushing the "guilt" envelope?
The Feminist Breeder talks about the new study released: Study: Lack of breastfeeding costs lives, billions of dollars - the Journal of Pediatrics published some very serious new findings indicating that 911 babies in America die every year from not being breastfed. Yes, AMERICA, not a third world country in the equatorial region of the planet!! She talks about the breast beating by the public in her article "When it comes to Breastfeeding, We can't handle the Truth". One of my favourite sections of the article brings the point across perfectly:
" for those Americans only interested in the bottom line, it should be noted that the same study found that if we can get 90% of mothers breastfeeding for the minimum amount of time recommended, then we’d save 13 billion dollars a year in medical costs. (that’s BILLION, with a B, people.)
So what the heck is the problem, then? Why can’t we get on board with this research? The problem is that people don’t want to hear it. But I’ll say it anyway. Breastfeeding. Saves. Lives.
You know what else saves lives? Car seats. So, why aren’t people spitting mad at the NHTSA for saying that? Why aren’t they leaving thousands of comments on car seat articles saying “But I just couldn’t afford a car seat, why are you trying to make me feel guilty?!?!” Well, maybe it’s because our society will admit that car seats save lives, and we’re willing to give them out free at fire stations and hospitals if we have to because it is that important.
So why aren’t we doing the same for breastfeeding? Whywon’t they hand out free breast pumps and visits to a lactation consultant when we know it would save lives and money? Well, I think the obvious answer is that there are breasts involved, and people just lose their minds when female anatomy comes up in conversation.
Of course then people say “It’s her CHOICE to formula-feed – leave her alone!” But I don’t believe that most women are making this “choice.” The CDC shows that 3/4 of women are initiating breastfeeding in the hospital, but only 13.6% of women are still exclusively breastfeeding at 6 months. What this tells me is that somewhere along the way, they gave up on themselves, and the reason I hear most often is, “But, I tried! I just couldn’t make any milk!”
Here is the cold hard truth ladies: You have been lied to."
Yep. Car seats DO save lives, and our governments have created laws to protect our children and keep them safe..... yet in Canada we can't even get our government to fund vital breastfeeding support services like The Newman Breastfeeding Clinic & Institute, nor will they act to protect breastfeeding by making the WHO International Code into law. It's all well for them to talk the talk "Breast is best"... but it's time for them to put their money where their mouth is.
Breast ISN'T Best- Breast is NORMAL. Get with the program.
